The Year of the Family

At least for me and my family.

Last night Sunnie and I watched the Masterpiece Theater version of "Jane Eyre." At first it could have seemed something of a sacrifice (even though neither team playing in the march to the Super Bowl is my favorite) but as we progressed I became involved.

It reminded me of the great gift of love God bestowed upon us when our story began. The details of that great love story are not for this page but last night a fresh breeze blew upon the fires of love for my wife. Our story rivals that of any literary masterpiece made, exceeds them all even if only for the simple fact that it is true. After 18 years together and a family and responsibilities, 2009 is the year we want fresh life and strength breathed into the love we share, the relationship that has grown stronger through the years but lateley not nurtured so much by me as before.

2009 is the year that family relationships between fathers and sons, and fathers and daughters will be set aright. 2009 is the year that daughters and mothers, and mothers and sons, will be put in right and loving place. What are our most important relationships? Those with our family must always be near the top of the list.

God Himself has placed us in the family. Whether I am the firstborn, middle or last was His own choice. Whether to be a son or a daughter was a question never posed to me. Nor a choice as to my parents or siblings. God Himself chose these people to be part of my life. He Himself is able and wanting to bring healing and fresh life and love into these relationships.

Forgiveness is a good place to start. They do not need to be forgiven, my family has wronged me in no way. Yet forgive I must. Forvigeness is a part of my new nature, as natural as breathing, out with the old, in with the new. Breathe in new life, expel that which has been used up. It is not so much that I need to forgive any particular thing, it is that I need to live with an attitude of forgiveness at each moment and instance of the day. I must let love only reign in my relationship with them.

My words must be governed by Love. How quick the retort, how sharp the tongue can be. My son Jack is three. He loves to look at my slowly growing collection of pocket knives. It is dangerous because they are tools and sharp, and he not yet skilled in handling them. How much more dangerous the sharp tool residing in my mouth. My family does not need my forgiveness, give them grace to forgive me. In 2009 I will allow the Holy Spirit to discipline me, may my tongue be governed by love. I will speak those things that are true and right, pure, lovely, admirable. They will hear me singing their praises. I will trumpet things about them which are excellent and worthy of praise. I will not whisper or even think upon anything else.

There must be more. How can the Holy Spirit do His work in us, in our family relationships? Forgiveness is His tool. Healing is His gift. Right words spoken in love His grace to us. How else does He work? In a myriad of wondrous ways He is full of abililty to change me into the man He envisions. And He has promised to continue this good work in me. May I be open and cooperative in 2009.

I have begun a study of Proverbs. I humble myself afresh. I open my ear to Your Word. With Your help I will listen as if my life depended upon it, as if the lives of my wife and children were at stake. I am not yet the man I see in your word, indeed at the moment feel so far from it. I know I have grown and can recount many victories you have done for me. I have placed my foot upon the neck of many temptations. Many accusations of the enemy against me have fallen, never to rise again. Many promises you have already fulfilled. But I hear the Holy Spirit saying to me that now is the time, this is the day, a supreme moment has arrived, and if I will yield to You, your good work in me you will heal and instruct my heart.

Yes, I am excited about 2009. I will become more like Jesus. I will be a force for good in my family. My wife will call me her great blessing and desire. My children will be grateful and proud that I followed my Lord wholeheartedly, learning to speak His very life into them and their future. I will be one who edifies and builds.

I am excited about 2009. As the better half of me said yesterday, Aslan is on the move.

Daring to Dream

I want to get back to my thoughts on God's heart for the family in 2009. Normally this would be the right time - up early and alone, the automatic brew on the coffeemaker hasn't even gone off yet.

But I have a lot of work to complete in a short amount of time at work so a few sentences here & I"m out the door.

Last night was the first Bible study meeting at Ed & Nancy's for the Highland Creek Open House Group of Branch Family Church. It was very encouraging as a group of Christians gathered in a home to study the Bible and pray together. It did something strong and deep inside me and I am really enthusiastic about getting together regularly.

We are studying the life of Joseph and how he moved from having a dream to fulfilling his destiny. Several other groups in our church have been through the same study, but I believe this is the right time for the folks in our group. It is no coincidence we are beginning the study at the start of 2009.

There were several friends I have known for years, and a few new friends, and someone I met last night for the first time. But our hearts were open to the Holy Spirit and to one another. We committed to pray for each other and to be trustworthy friends, keeping in confidence those things that should be and "being there" when needed.

As we move forward I am confident we will better understand God's dream for us. He will help us grow and pass the tests, moving us from dream to destiny.

Well, the coffeemaker just started & I'm out the door to work. If I'm going to fulfill my destiny, I've got to be faithful with where I am today.

The Year of the Family

I don't profess to know all, or most, or even a significant amount of what God wants or what His plans are. But I do know what He has told me - that 2009 is the year of the family.

More on that when I'm able...

The Prayers of the People

This morning I am praying for people. People on my heart, people that the Holy Spirit brings to my mind.

I pray for a very special child who is shy in public. Lord, give her the skills to interact with others and be comfortable with herself and them. Thank you that your hand is upon her.

I pray for my close friend who is searching the way forward with his work. Lord, open the right door for him, show him the way to go, encourage his heart, provide for the needs of his family.

I pray for another very close friend in another state. He has encouraged so many, send encouragement to him. Heal the wounds of the past year and lead him and his family forth in your goodness.

I pray for the different people I have crossed paths with in the last few weeks who have lost a loved one at Christmas. Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Help them to look to you in faith, guard their hearts from the questions and accusations the enemy brings against You when suffering comes. I especially pray for the two I know who lost their son.

Christmas is when God drew near at Bethlehem. Lord, you still want to draw near to us. How your heart longs that we draw near to you. We draw near with humble hearts. You are a good God. In love, in gratitude, in need, we draw near to you.

The Sparkliest Christmas Tree Ever, or Let's Switch Eyes

Jack is my favorite boy. My only son is three years old, has red hair, and is one of the best things that ever happend to me.

This morning we were looking at the Christmas tree. It was still dark outside. The house was quiet, the only lights the soft glow of the tree. The girls still asleep upstairs, Jack unusually peaceful in his mom's lap. I showed Jack how to squint his eyes so the lights would look sparkly. We played and laughed and our tree became the sparkliest tree ever! It's beautiful!

After a minute Jack put his palms on his mother's cheeks, got his face right up to hers and said "Let's take out your eyes and take out my eyes and switch!"

At first it was just another in the stream of constant silly suggestions that come from a 3 year old boy, but all of a sudden it seemed like a good idea. "What would the tree look like if I was looking at it through my son's eyes?" It seemed exciting to think about how I would feel if I was looking at the sparkliest Christmas tree ever through the eyes of a child, a tree covered with diamonds and stars, a tree already guarding a host of presents. Some of those presents had my name on them! What could they be?

I would look at our manger scene, the one that graced my grandmother's front porch every Christmas of my childhood, and try again to imagine myself hidden in the shadows, imagining myself being there as I have done so many times as a child. Smelling the hay, listening to the slow, deep breathing of the cow and the sheep, watching the wonder on the shepherds' faces as they found Him. I would reverently walk forward, Joseph would smile. Now Mary holds out her hand to me, an invitation to come and touch the baby Jesus. Suddenly I am sharing in the wonder and the excitement that sometimes gets lost when you've had more than 10 or 12 Christmas mornings. I thought it would be a fantastic idea to switch eyes!

Then I began to wonder what Jack would see through my eyes. The tree is beautiful, he would note. But he would also see the unused wrapping paper - unused because I still have a number of presents to wrap. But actually I need to buy them first. Before that I need to decide exactly what I'm looking for, or maybe I could just wander around the mall like the other men. Plus we have another Christmas party. Plus a few things undone around the house because of so much else going on. Oh yeah, get the oil changed and begin packing for our holiday trip out of town...

What would my son see if we traded eyes? Would he see the wonder, or would he wonder what had happened to me? Switching eyes would be a good deal for me, but I love him too much to switch. I will let him keep the sparkly, starry eyes of a child and pray they always show him the wonder of Christmas.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.

To Don't List

It's cold outside, and cool inside too. Woke up much too early to get out of bed, so I snuggled up to my wife, breathed a contented sigh, closed my eyes, and... just laid there. In that moment of awakeness, my brain started booting up. Then I remembered a couple of things I need to do at work today and it was over. So I kissed my love on the cheek (she didn't budge), bundled up in my sweats, and came downstairs to turn on the coffeemaker. The automatic brew still has about 45 minutes before it starts, but I'm excited about the Caribou Reindeer brew that my friend Richard (www.richardisrael.com) highly recommends. Smells real good.

One of the first thoughts that ran through my brain this morning (as it was still booting up) was from Joshua 1. The Lord told Joshua "Be careful to do everything I told Moses to tell ya'll." (Yes, that is a Southern paraphrase. No, it is not less grammatically correct, it is more. In Latin, and most other languages, there is a difference between the singular and the plural forms of "you", so you can tell if you are speaking to one person or a group of people. Somehow in English it's the same word for both so you're never quite sure, you just have to figure it out. But Southerns have corrected that problem with the language - "you" is singular, "ya'll" (or you all) is plural. Or if you came from the mountains like me, "you uns" can be substituted for "ya'll", but I will admit that is less grammatically correct, even though I didn't suspect that until I was in high school and finally confirmed it at Chapel Hill.)

Apparently my brain is still booting up, but the coffee is done and as good as Richard promised. I see a new holiday tradition in the making.

So anyway the Lord was speaking to the group of people, saying he had given them instructions that, when followed, would result in success. Then immediately I could hear Jesus saying "My meat is to do the will of Him who sent me."

I've been focused a lot lately on my to do list. Or lists I should say. For work, for home, etc. This morning the Holy Spirit was reminding me of a couple of things:
First, that God's will is something do be DONE. Obedience is action. It is not meditation or intention. God told Joshua that the thing that resulted in success was DOING the Words He had spoken. Jesus said that his most basic need was to DO the will of God.
Secondly, that my focus should simply be on pleasing Him. Jesus told his friends, "When I do the will of my Father, it satisfies my basic needs in ways that you don't know anything about yet."

It's easy, for me at least, to get caught up in the day and the to do list. Sometimes religious people get caught up in the to don't list, which in my experience is much worse for all concerned. But this morning I'm taking a minute to think about what Jesus said - I have meat that you know not of. What are the opportunities that my heavenly Father has for me? What is His work for today. I pray that I DO that, and in the process get the most important items on the written to do list checked off too.

I Dare You

There is something almost irresistible about a dare. Deep down, each of us stands ready to rise to the challenge. We want and sometimes even need to show that we are more than ready, that we do indeed have what it takes to pass the test.

Last weekend my wife and I had an evening planned together. A friend of ours was scheduled to exhibit a number of his paintings in an uptown gallery as part of an art crawl. I enjoyed meeting several artists and hearing about their work and learning how their life is different than mine. To be honest I felt a little out of place looking at artwork that cost as much as my truck, but Sunnie was enjoying herself and she was laughing a lot. The lights meant to illuminate the works of art highlighted a sparkle in her eyes that every diamond in the world must envy. We enjoyed being together.

Afterwards we went to see the movie Fireproof (www.fireproofthemovie.com/). I had not heard much about it, but we had planned an evening together and that's what she wanted to do. So we bought our tickets and a bag of M&Ms & found our seats. After 3 hours and 14 minutes of introductions and previews, the movie started.

Without re-telling the story (you should see it yourself) let me say we are invited into the lives of a successful young firefighter and his wife. He's very good at his work, but not very good in this relationship. His father "dares" him to make it work.

I would recommend the movie Fireproof to every adult I know - but let me tell you this: Don't expect to be entertained. Yes I laughed. Yes I cried (yes, I got misty-eyed too, but at one point near the end actually had tears on my face, which is not a common occurrence for me. And I was thinking, they BETTER NOT end this movie right now when I'm sitting here with tears on my face. But they proved themselves trustworthy and allowed me a few minutes to get it together before the lights came up). Parts of the movie are very entertaining, but it's not entertainment. This is something more. This is something better.

Don't make up your mind during the first five minutes - I started out hoping this wasn't a dud. But during the course of the movie I came to care about the characters and what happened to them. At times, it hurt to watch. Not because of what was happening on screen, but because I knew that hundreds and thousands of people who will be watching this movie had experienced some form of it in their own living rooms.

My wife and I have been married 18 years. Our relationship is strong and healthy and we are very thankful to be together. The most common year for divorces is the seventh year. After seven years, a couple has worked through some problems that many others were divorced over. So my wife and I have worked through some problems. It is painful at the time and it is painful to remember. (I remember one late night discussion, I impulsively told her: "You know what your problem is? You married a man! That's your problem!" Fortunately we both started laughing and that was the end of that.)

In my thinking, this movie represents the highest and best that movie-making can be: it builds you up. It offers hope. It creates the desire to aspire. Most importantly, it points the way to permanent solutions to all the challenges we face. The Bible says that love builds up, it makes stonger. So much of what passes for entertainment does nothing of the sort.

So go see it. I dare you.