Just like old times, as far as my blog is concerned. When you're alone, your house can be a different place. You notice things that you don't notice when there is lots of activity. Silence, for one. 5AM. The house is quiet and peaceful, the coffee strong and black. Sometimes I take cream and sugar, a compromise to my masculine identity I allowed after being married for a month or so and realizing my wife's coffee tasted better with dessert than mine did. Occasionally I use only cream, like my German friend Dieter. (I don't know if that's a German thing or not, maybe it's just how Dieter likes it.) The only time I use only sugar is when I'm camping- the cream is too much trouble, sugar such a luxury in the woods.
Well, Jack's awake, so this little session was over before it started. Let me just catch this one thought- as I woke up my heart was praying. I sense the Lord's presence, I am thankful. Words of gratitude, words of wonder. A prayer for forgiveness, I have insulted you in so many ways. A still small voice in my heart, "Has your son ever insulted you?" No, I've never really thought about it like that, but he hasn't . Has he ever ignored you? Yes. Has he ever taken you for granted? In the adult sense of the word, that happens daily. But he's only 2. How can he take me for granted? I mean, it is a granted that I will provide for everything he needs. I'm his father. At this point he doesn't even have the ability to insult me.
The light bulb goes on (I just woke up so my brain is still getting in gear). My Father loves me! He's not mad. Once again I am surprised by grace. (For more on this wonder, listen to the latest and greatest from Pastor D at http://www.branchchurch.org/)
I know some things about the heart of a Father. My Father once again has shared with me the wonder of His love. Now it's time to share this wonder with my son.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
It just sounds better when you're inspired
I am in love with my beloved. If I wasn't, she wouldn't be my beloved, would she? As evidenced by these first 2 sentences, early morning is probably not the best time for creative romantic expression. If you're an accountant, having a mike in your hand isn't either. No matter how much you are in love, it just sounds better when you're inspired.
Last night we attended the Valentines Dinner for the Branch Family Church. It was great food and great fun. We made some new friends and got to know old friends better as each couple at our table shared stories of how they had met, fallen in love, or favorite memories.
At the end of the evening Pastor John opened the mike for the men to publicly share their love and affection for their wife, aka, to embarass yourself in front of a room full of supportive people. There was a lot of laughter, and it was really encouraging to hear the depth of love and commitment that was expressed. One man had been married 4 months, another 52 years. One thing came through loud and clear: God knew what He was doing when He made Eve. These guys spoke from the depths of their hearts, valiantly looking to translate into English what the heart speaks in the language of love.
(Another thing I learned last night: there are no words in Russian for bar-b-que or ATV. Inside joke).
For my own part, I had been to these before. Before we left the house I looked into my wife's eyes and did my best to say again what I've tried to say at least a million times before: I need you, I want you, I respect you, I love you. I've never really been able to fully articulate it, I mean I can (and do) say the words but words don't do it justice. It's like trying to carry the ocean in a bucket- the container isn't adequate. Of course I was called upon to go forward, my machinations otherwise to no avail. I shared my love and embarrassed myself and had fun. What I wanted to say went something like this: "Honey, I love you. Remember those hundreds of poems and love letters from me that you have saved in your dresser? Please read a couple of those tonight. They are still all true and more, but it just sounds better when you're inspired."
Of course, she knows. She knows what I mean, and she knows that English isn't sufficient to say it. She knows because we have become one. We have something special and we know it, and we are very very thankful. The only way to really say something like that is in the cumulative effect of a thousand million ways, large and small, words and deeds, looks and touches and sacrifices and surprises and laughter and forgiveness given and forgiveness received, love expressed consistently and over a lifetime together.
You have to say it with your life. But if you try to write it down, or try to say it into the mike, it just sounds better when you're inspired.
Last night we attended the Valentines Dinner for the Branch Family Church. It was great food and great fun. We made some new friends and got to know old friends better as each couple at our table shared stories of how they had met, fallen in love, or favorite memories.
At the end of the evening Pastor John opened the mike for the men to publicly share their love and affection for their wife, aka, to embarass yourself in front of a room full of supportive people. There was a lot of laughter, and it was really encouraging to hear the depth of love and commitment that was expressed. One man had been married 4 months, another 52 years. One thing came through loud and clear: God knew what He was doing when He made Eve. These guys spoke from the depths of their hearts, valiantly looking to translate into English what the heart speaks in the language of love.
(Another thing I learned last night: there are no words in Russian for bar-b-que or ATV. Inside joke).
For my own part, I had been to these before. Before we left the house I looked into my wife's eyes and did my best to say again what I've tried to say at least a million times before: I need you, I want you, I respect you, I love you. I've never really been able to fully articulate it, I mean I can (and do) say the words but words don't do it justice. It's like trying to carry the ocean in a bucket- the container isn't adequate. Of course I was called upon to go forward, my machinations otherwise to no avail. I shared my love and embarrassed myself and had fun. What I wanted to say went something like this: "Honey, I love you. Remember those hundreds of poems and love letters from me that you have saved in your dresser? Please read a couple of those tonight. They are still all true and more, but it just sounds better when you're inspired."
Of course, she knows. She knows what I mean, and she knows that English isn't sufficient to say it. She knows because we have become one. We have something special and we know it, and we are very very thankful. The only way to really say something like that is in the cumulative effect of a thousand million ways, large and small, words and deeds, looks and touches and sacrifices and surprises and laughter and forgiveness given and forgiveness received, love expressed consistently and over a lifetime together.
You have to say it with your life. But if you try to write it down, or try to say it into the mike, it just sounds better when you're inspired.
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